i duno why but blame it on my poor organisational skills and not knowing how to prioritise tings. i've actually put band right on top of everything and neglected my studies. somehow i feel alot of the year 3s in the band are doing the exact same ting. i duno why, but i jus feel so tired of studying and rushing to complete assignments.
as a matter of fact, my results for this semester hasn't been exactly excellent or even average. i would say they're infact sub-par and super below average. i duno what is happening to me. jus feel like giving up this damn course. i hate this course.
jus realised that i missed a CSW test today. and im quite angry with myself for missing it. now i dun even know if i can pass it. wth. i hate it i hate it. now im faced with a moutain of workload man. and i cant even start doing because i dun know a damn about going about to do it. i dun have a confidante anymore in the same course where i can share everything. i have to do everything myself. on top of that, fyp project is exactly flying off to a start. argh.
it's the morning before the concert already. already worked hard for this 3 months. trying to prove myself as a credible SL and hoping that the juniors have learnt something from me as well as the other seniors. i really hoped that i have given them the respect that everyone should deserve and subsequently i hope that i earn their respect too.
it's been a long and trecherous road for all of us. really watching all of you guys grow to become more mature players than you were before in 3 months is considered a wonderful experience to me. i can still remember vividly how all of us met each other and how each and every one of you come from a different background. and that everything had to be instilled.
i loved how you guys could work together and come down for self prac together. i loved the way that everyone has improved. some from a percussion background, some not from a percussion background. and i hope that you guys have learnt something enriching from this IBM.
i am sorry if i ever seemed too harsh on you guys. i jus feel that i cant be spoonfeeding all of you everytime. and that you guys have to go and try and ask around. i will never scold if you guys ask, but if you guys do not ask and do not dare to play, i will scold. because life is about daring to do things that u have never done before; and knowing that you can do a damn well job out of something new.
trust me, you guys will become better players. really feel proud of having these juniors. and this will be my second last concert with SP, barring any possibilities that i might retain of course. i jus hope that we'll do well and enjoy the music. lastly, peace.
hope that you guys will somehow stumble onto this and read it. cus i will never say this out in real life. this is the only time you'll get to see me so vulnerable.
and im tired.
men should not accept our destiny, we should choose it.
never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
Labels: band
D.I.E
The Dream Catchers